So often when bad things happen to me I begin to think that someone up you know where (yeah...heaven...) has it out for me. As the days go on I begin to wonder if I am just unlucky or what is going on in my life that is making it so challenging. What helps me through each of these types of times is a line of a prayer that I read on January 1st that changed my life. It's a simple line that goes: "Lord, in all that I do and in all that happens, let me never lose Hope."
So, why is it, "I am glad to be alive day?" Well, for those who haven't heard already, we lost a tree on Saturday. It lept to its death. Well, I wouldn't say lept...maybe more of split in half and lept. Miraculously it missed our powerlines but took out our phone line and our cable and internet as well. A few minutes prior to it falling I had been preparing to walk from a neighbor's to that exact area it fell. I could have been hit and even killed. Miraculously and through the intervention of a friend I didn't. I am alive instead.
So what does my not being injured and having hope have in common? Hope gives us something to live for each day. Even when bad or difficult things happen, when I begin to look at the positive things in my life, it helps me to process and think about things better and more clearer. If I would have paniced and started to fret over the loss of that beautiful tree and even more so the work that I have to do to clean it up, I wouldn't have seen the good things in my life. Especially things like the fact that no one nor myself was hurt, my home was still intact, and it didn't make me forget the good time I had prior to it all happening.
In all that I do and in all that happens, let me never lose hope. Crazy things, unmeditated things, damaging things all happen. But I will never lose hope that tomorrow will be better. I will never lose hope that something good ill come my way. I will never lose hope that someday, when my time does come, that God comes to me and personally takes me up to heaven. Hope allows for openness to all that can happen.
Let you that are reading this never give up hope.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
A New Day has Come
I don't always write on here and last November I decided to give up on writing and trying to improve each day of the year. Here it has been over a year since I had started that task. Where do I think that I am at? I am a new person. I am no where near the person I was a year ago. What happened?
Alot happened last year. The more I tried to improve myself the more I felt attacked by an evilness. I don't know if it was spiritual, mental or what but I was being attacked. Did I keep from changing? No. I kept moving forward at my own space and in my own way. Alot of tragic things happened. I had surgery in May, a thunderstorm like no other hit our neighborhood and pt two trees onto my house, and Jeff's grandpa passed away. It was a stressful year. So...I walked away from blogging. Has this year been any better? It's not that the year has gotten any better, but rather I look at life better.
Last year I dealt emotionally with the possibility that we may not have children at all. Here I was 37 yrs old and looking at the possibility of never having a child of my own. In fall we found out that a gluten allergy that I was unaware of could be causing alot of the problems. So, this January 1 I woke up, shook the dirt off my shoes, and decided that I would walk the path of Hope this year.
What is Hope? Hope is believing that the impossible is possible. It is not giving up. It is living present in each and every day. This year I believe in hope. Does it at times seem difficult? Yes it does. But regardless, I refuse to give up on it. Maybe good will grant every wish I make, maybe God won't. But at least I can hope and believe that whatever happens, God is there to help me through it.
So....if you are still checking on my blog even after my long absence, know that I will begin blogging again on here. Maybe daily, maybe every other day. The new me is here and its better than ever. The journey continues.
Alot happened last year. The more I tried to improve myself the more I felt attacked by an evilness. I don't know if it was spiritual, mental or what but I was being attacked. Did I keep from changing? No. I kept moving forward at my own space and in my own way. Alot of tragic things happened. I had surgery in May, a thunderstorm like no other hit our neighborhood and pt two trees onto my house, and Jeff's grandpa passed away. It was a stressful year. So...I walked away from blogging. Has this year been any better? It's not that the year has gotten any better, but rather I look at life better.
Last year I dealt emotionally with the possibility that we may not have children at all. Here I was 37 yrs old and looking at the possibility of never having a child of my own. In fall we found out that a gluten allergy that I was unaware of could be causing alot of the problems. So, this January 1 I woke up, shook the dirt off my shoes, and decided that I would walk the path of Hope this year.
What is Hope? Hope is believing that the impossible is possible. It is not giving up. It is living present in each and every day. This year I believe in hope. Does it at times seem difficult? Yes it does. But regardless, I refuse to give up on it. Maybe good will grant every wish I make, maybe God won't. But at least I can hope and believe that whatever happens, God is there to help me through it.
So....if you are still checking on my blog even after my long absence, know that I will begin blogging again on here. Maybe daily, maybe every other day. The new me is here and its better than ever. The journey continues.
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