I don't always write on here and last November I decided to give up on writing and trying to improve each day of the year. Here it has been over a year since I had started that task. Where do I think that I am at? I am a new person. I am no where near the person I was a year ago. What happened?
Alot happened last year. The more I tried to improve myself the more I felt attacked by an evilness. I don't know if it was spiritual, mental or what but I was being attacked. Did I keep from changing? No. I kept moving forward at my own space and in my own way. Alot of tragic things happened. I had surgery in May, a thunderstorm like no other hit our neighborhood and pt two trees onto my house, and Jeff's grandpa passed away. It was a stressful year. So...I walked away from blogging. Has this year been any better? It's not that the year has gotten any better, but rather I look at life better.
Last year I dealt emotionally with the possibility that we may not have children at all. Here I was 37 yrs old and looking at the possibility of never having a child of my own. In fall we found out that a gluten allergy that I was unaware of could be causing alot of the problems. So, this January 1 I woke up, shook the dirt off my shoes, and decided that I would walk the path of Hope this year.
What is Hope? Hope is believing that the impossible is possible. It is not giving up. It is living present in each and every day. This year I believe in hope. Does it at times seem difficult? Yes it does. But regardless, I refuse to give up on it. Maybe good will grant every wish I make, maybe God won't. But at least I can hope and believe that whatever happens, God is there to help me through it.
So....if you are still checking on my blog even after my long absence, know that I will begin blogging again on here. Maybe daily, maybe every other day. The new me is here and its better than ever. The journey continues.
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