My husband said to me the other day that he had the perfect task for me as it was a task that he himself felt he needed to accomplish. The task you may ask? Assertiveness. So, why would I listen to him and use this as a topic? Because he is right. (There...I said it. Don't let him know I said it!)
Recently I have had to deal with a situation where I am in a leadership position that I need to use assertiveness. For some reason, I develop a wall of fear that gets in the way of me taking the control that I need to take, (control not out of choice but out of assigned responsibility). What have I done? I've put up a wall and attempted to avoid the situation at times. But not anymore. Today I start with the assertiveness.
There is a way to be assertive and then there is a way to allow all the frustration and other issues that have developed to take over and things be said that shouldn't be said. I have to learn today to do that. I have to learn to trust my instincts with this situation and give the task and stick to my guns. I need to have confidence in myself and what I know is right and what has to be done based on the responsibility assigned to me. I know I can do this. I just have to continue to believe.
Ecclesiastics: There is a time to be assertive, and a time to rest assertiveness.
ReplyDeleteI think that the key is to find the correct moment to come forth and be aggressive. If you jump too soon, it may not have the proper effect. If you are too late, you may lose that edge where your come-back would knock them all down. I think that everyone will know when that moment is to be sure of yourself and boldly step forward. But wait for it, since others will surely set you up for your entrance into the conversation. Then you need to aggressively butt-in where your effect will have the most punch.
I use this approach with my wife all the time. Maybe that's why I get called butt-head.
I will let my husband's "butt head" comment speak for itself.
ReplyDeleteI have known you a while now and have never thought of you as non-assertive. Did I miss something? There is the "aggressive assertive" which is a turn off, the "kind assertive" which is where I place you, and then there is the sneak up and you'll never know assertiveness which is where I place my husband (hense, butt head). I love letting him play that game. Foreplay don't you know.