As I reflected on my journey last night and this morning and what today's task should be, I kept getting the phrase, "Pay it Forward" in my head. When I think about that phrase I am reminded of the book and the movie of that same title. In the movie, 12 yr old Trevor McKinney is given an assignment to devise and put into action a plan that will help change the world for the better. Trevor devises the Pay it Forward plan and begins by helping one person, who then in turn is instructed to pay it forward to someone else, never expecting reward or to be paid back in return. The philosophy of Pay it Forward was actually described as far back as 1784 when Benjamin Franklin wrote in a letter to Benjamin Webb of the concept. Again later it was quoted by Ralph Waldo Emerson in his essay "Compensation" as he wrote, "In the order of nature we cannot render benefits to those from whom we receive them, or only seldom. But the benefit we receive must be rendered again, line for line, deed for deed, cent for cent, to somebody."
While I believe at times I can be a generous person, and while I try to help someone I wonder if I try to seek reward in return sometimes. I know at times I try to rationalize my giving to others. ("Do I have enough money to do this, is this homeless person going to go out and spend this on alcohol, will they always bother me in the future, I won't give unless I know my dollar is truly going to help the poor, "are just a few of the questions that come to mind as I try and rationalize.) Or how about looking at what that same person gave to you in order to determine how much or how little you will give to them in return? (This person gave us only $20 at our wedding...that's all I am giving them...) And I often place conditions on whether I give to others. (I am not going to help that person because they hurt my feelings or they will just back stab me later. )
Rather than giving and telling someone to pay it forward, I often expect a reward, either from God or from others stroking my ego once they've found out what I did. I realized today that in retrospect, I truly wasn't paying it forward because at the same time I expected someone or God to reward me in return. God's reward's shouldn't be an expected thing. Rather, it should be a surprise. Our paying it forward to others shouldn't be a limited, conditional thing that strokes our ego. Rather, we need to give (or help) and then let it go. It shouldn't be that we seek the reward, but rather we want the reward for the person whom we are helping.
Paying it forward isn't about money. We can pay it forward with our time, our talents, or our other treasures. One small thing we do may impact a greater good. I am reminded of a sibling and her spouse who dedicate their time and talents to a dog rescue group and how many dogs they have saved. Or the friend who with one idea of starting a garden to help in one neighborhood to grow free food for those in need has now influenced the start of 14 more.
Today I will be more aware of paying it forward and I will work on leaving my ego at the door. But as I leave you today, I leave you with another quote that comes from one of my favorite movies, The Power of One. "Changes can come from the power of many, but only when they come together to form that which is invincible--the power of One."
Melissa,
ReplyDeleteI am so envious of your talents. Your writings are so inspiring and your artwork is so awesome.
I have been sharing parts of your blog with a few people at work. Mary the cashier and I have been talking about the whinning and negativity and how that is an example. Mary has decided it is her mission to help me. Everyday I stop by her window and ask her how she is doing. Her response is always "WONDERFUL!" I told her that someday I hope to respond like that. My usual response is "I'm hanging in there!" or "I'm alright!" Sort of like Ehoyre. (don't remmeber how to spell his name, sorry)
Thanks for your messages. I look forward to reading them daily.
I guess I should preview before I send. It should say and example of me!
ReplyDeleteI think my comments have been running too long. I'll try to cut them down just a little. No promises.
ReplyDelete"Pay it forward" is one of Dawn's favorite responses. When "they " say, "Thanks, I'll try to pay you back for this", she says, "No, not us, but pay it forward".
Approximately 25 years ago, I quit my job. Don't ever just quit your job, since you don't get to claim unemployment or any other benefits. So I was out of work for over 3 months with no money coming in. Two kids still at home and no income, nothing at all. One day I received an envelope with over $300.00 cash in it. I am pretty sure that it came from some Cursillo people, but will never know since it was anonymous. I had no choice but to use that cash and to pay it forward. But how do I pay it forward? When I was working again, there was a family that I knew that was in nearly the same shape that I had been in-- no work. I gave them an annonymous envelope with $100.00 cash in it. You know the woman in that family has paid it forward at least a thousand times since then.
Dawn and I continue to pay forward as much as we can, and the reward is in giving without expecting anything at all back. But somehow, I do believe that it will come back in some form and at some time. But I don't care when or even if.
Oh yea, like this is even shorter?