Today likely won't be the kind of blog you are used to reading. I am sitting here trying to write this morning with absolutely nothing that I can write in my head. I am angry. I am angry about a situation happening. I am angry at things I can't control. I am so angry I have tears in my eyes, my stomach feels like someone just punched me, I feel my chest tightening and I just want to punch something. This is what happens when I get angry.
More than anything I am feeling hurt and resentment. Today is going to be the hardest day to get through and to deal with the anger and the resentment and the hurt. Today is going to be hard to pass on forgiveness. Today is the culmination of the last week of tasks and trying to deal with them all. Did I plan it this way? No. Things happen.
Anger eats alive your entire system until you can't take it anymore and you snap. I call those my punching moments. While I have hurt myself physically before by punching things (a tree, a concrete wall, and metal beam) I am holding everything back to keep from doing it today. And then what happens as I am typing this blog? My computer shuts down because I must have accidentally hit the power button and I am faced with more anger at how today is going. Part of me knows that I need to step back and count to 10 or whatever number I have to reach before I calm down or I need to get as far away from what is angering me. But does running help? No. It just makes things worse. The more time I have to just sit and think about things the worse my anger gets. The only answer to dealing with this today is prayer.
And so I pray. I sit here and pray. I know that I can't control what is going on in my life that is causing me anger. So I just pray. I pray today for an answer to help me through this situation. I pray that God helps me control all day the desire to want to punch something and that I will continue to keep from doing it today. I pray for a clear mind to be able to get through work and what I need to do. I just pray.
I have no answers today for you. No semi-therapeutic babble on how to deal with this issue today. All I have is prayer.
Anger is something we all deal with. Sometimes it is harder than others to handle. I will pray for you today so that you get through the day peacefully and hopefully without anything else to add to your anger. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteAs Michelle said, we're all dealing with anger. I think that it goes back to that "forgiveness" thing. If we are quick to forgive, then we can also let go of the anger. If you have a problem letting go of that anger, the incidences can pile up, so you will have anger upon anger. It seems that some people are always angry, and that could be the reason.
ReplyDeleteMy acupuncturist tells me that I am too angry and it's affecting my life. I told her that when I get mad, it only lasts for a very short few minutes, and then it's gone. She responded that I need to get over it even quicker. Wow! How important that could be for a persons' own health. Being angry with someone does nothing to hurt them, but is affecting your own body's health.
So I guess the answer would be to forgive the person for the wrong, then since you have forgiven them, let go of the anger too. Then you can feel good because you have done the right thing, you are the better person for it, and your body can continue to be healthy.