Day 31....I have officially been at this blog now for over a month. I am proud of not giving up and am more bound and determined than ever to get through the full 365 days. I am going to need you help though. As my support in the journey, what are areas that if you were taking this journey, that you'd want to work on in your life. Send me your ideas either to here or my email address (melmurawski17@sbcglobal.net). I am so deep into the journey that at times I wake up in the morning and am so involved in previous days' tasks that I often can't think of the others I know that I need to work on in my life. This morning though...I knew what to do.
By my title its hard to decipher what my task will be, isn't it? Today's task involves changing my mind to change my life. In a way, it may appear similar to other tasks I have done but today's task with take a bit of a twist. Let me explain the reasoning behind today's topic.
Last night, for the umpteenth time, as I prepared for bed I found myself starting to feel sorry for myself. You see, for the last couple of years I have been dealing with a problem with one of my legs. Just a couple of years ago I was walking 5 k's and had hopes of running a 5 k this year or at least sometime again before I die as an old woman. The problem with my foot and leg has just led to tons of financial bills each year only to have to long term resolution to the problem. The next steps? Eventually probably major surgery on the leg followed by physical therapy, etc. But I don't want to go there. Surgery means even more limitations in the future and not likely to meet the goal of running a 5 k ever again.
Why does this matter to me? As a former athlete I think back to those glory days of basketball in high school and college and see these young things who play now look at this old (like almost 37 yrs. is old...phht..yeah right!?!?) woman up in the stands with a look that says, "Hey old lady...I could run circles around you!!!" Nothing sucks worse in life than actually feeling like you are getting older. Each night as I stretch my leg and rub the same muscle creams on my legs that my grandma did on hers when I was a young child, I have to mentally tell myself that I can't give up.
Our mental abilities...whether we psych ourselves out or not..affects our ability to function. It's not a question of hoping or believing we can do something...those are steps to take once you get it in your mind that you can keep reaching the goal one more time. An example is my 94 year old grandmother. The day after Christmas she fell in church and broke her hip and her shoulder. At her age many people don't rebound or they are stuck in a nursing home for the rest of their lives. The first couple of weeks after surgery and getting her into the nursing home for rehab, we were almost sure she'd never get our of the nursing home or be able to walk or function again like she used to. She was telling herself that she was stuck. She was allowing that day's limitations affect the future that she thought she would have. It took many people telling her that she could do it...that she had to work beyond the pain at times...but that she still could do it. Today...she comes home. Minus the wheelchair and on her own two feet walking. Not even 2 months after she fell.
I have alot to learn from my Grandma. Sure she has some limitations yet, but in time she may be able to move beyond those limitations if that's what she sets her mind to do. I am not going to sit back and tell myself that I can't function just because of my leg. And I am not going to give up hope in doing that 5 k again. It may not be this year or next but I will do it...somehow. As long as I tell myself I can, I will find a way.
You go girl!
ReplyDeleteHere's a subject that I think we need to talk about....It's a big one.....this is the thing that brings the entire human race down, the stumbling block for us all.......oh gosh....here goes......EGO ...(Edging God Out). You may have a plan to bring that one up at some point, so don't rush it. But that is one thing that we could take a week to discuss.
Your grandmother is a hard act to follow. At her age, I don't think that I could come back from the injuries that she sustained. Myself, at 26, I broke my tibia in 2 places, and I wasn't sure if I was going to make it. I did, but it was tough. When an old person breaks a bone, or anything else, the pain is what makes them want to give up. It becomes not worth it to, as you say, "work through the pain". That's what I had to do with my broken leg. It was over 6 months before I could even walk without the help of crutches or a cane, and over a year before I could walk without a noticeable limp, but I did eventually do it.
As my sons were growing up, I never let them win at basketball. We had a game of one on one that we played, and I would let them get close, but never win. My oldest, 6'-2", and played for the high school team at center, was finally stuffing me on every shot. I was at the point where I had to work my butt off, just to get a shot off. And still, he would beat me easily. He did what I wanted, he bested me, and now, there is nothing more I can do, but turn the reigns over to him. I played on my high school team too, but he is far better than I was, or at least am now, so he has the responsibility, and I can sit back and relax, and act my age. I can still play basketball, but not one on one, just one on none.