Every Groundhog's Day I wake up with the sheer hope that this time, for this year, Punxatony Phill won't see his shadow. As records show, that rascally rodent saw his shadow over 100 times since 1887, (although 9 years of records were lost or misplaced so they are unsure of the outcome during those years.) As I crawled out of bed and wrapped a blanket around me this chilly and snow filled Groundhog's Day morning I was so sure that with this weather, how could anyone see their shadow. To my dismay, Punxie there came out of his whole and saw his shadow so we are stuck with another 6 weeks of winter. With my hopes dashed I put on my boots and headed out the door to work.
Hope. While hoping that the weather warms up a few weeks earlier this year is just a menial and silly thing to hope for it is what fills our days and what motivates us. However, hope is not some random thing that we believe in that just floats around in the air. When we hope for something, where does it go? In order for hope to exist, one must believe that there is a higher power to whom that hope rises and by whom it is embraced. Regardless of our desire for the outcome of that hope, the result could be just the opposite since we don't control the outcome.
Giving up on hope is something that I have found myself doing alot over the last couple of years. For the last 5 1/2 years my husband and I have been trying to conceive. We went through fertility treatments, followed every wives tail, listened to the advice of every person who gave it, and prayed. Nothing. A positive pregnancy test only to find out from the Doctor that is was a false positive topped it all off. I was done hoping. When you hope, your emotions are aroused, you tend to walk a little lighter, and you try to bring all energy into making what you are hoping for a reality. When our hopes of conceiving were bashed by that pregnancy test, so was all hope. I became cynical and negative and depressed. I began to think that hoping was a false emotion. Something not even worth doing because it would never go as I wanted it to.
And then I realized the answer was right in front of me. I was hoping without giving it to God. I was hoping so hard that I wasn't able to see what God was wanting for me. Maybe the time wasn't right...it wasn't in God's time. Maybe there has been something I have needed to do in my life or change in my life before we are given the opportunity. Maybe it's just not meant to be, no matter what I hope and wish for. Eventually I will have insight into the right path that my life is supposed to be on.
Thomas Fuller once said, "If it were not for Hopes, the heart would break." Whether you are looking for a job, a home, a spouse, or to try and have a family, don't give up hope. Without hopes our dreams fade away.I have been in the same boat as you. Today I am going to begin again to have hope. I didn't like the person I was...negative and depressed. And I am going to learn to accept the road that my higher power (God) has planned for me. And I will continue to hope that he hears my prayers.
As I leave you today with this I leave with one last quote that I am reminding myself often of today. "The important thing is not that we can live on hope alone, but that life is not worth living without it." (by activist Harvey Milk)
Sorry this was out so late this morning everyone. Crazy busy day and a tough topic to talk about. I promise that tomorrow's blog will be muc earlier.
ReplyDeleteIt works out perfect for me. I can't even think straight at 11:43 AM.
ReplyDeleteWho ever came up with that groundhog predicting the future needs to get a life. Oh, if it was over 100 years ago, they probably can't have a life, since they will be dead by now. Still, I think it's a phoney thing, and probably a little negative too. It seems like almost every time, that hog sees it's shadow and runs back into the hole. So we just give up HOPE and expect 6 more weeks of winter. Well, you know what, it's February.........then comes March, both are winter months. I'm sure that we will have some winter no matter what. I want to be alive some day, when the hog comes out and stays out, thus predicting that spring has sprung. Maybe if we all think that way, our positive thoughts will actually bring spring on soon. That would be wonderful. So in the same way, we need to disregard when the hog goes back inside, and tell ourselves that winter is over, thus bringing on Spring.
I can relate a little to your hoping for conception. When I married the first time, I wanted a family, and after only a few months, began to wonder why that wasn't happening. I had myself checked out, and then started looking into other possibilities, but had not given up on having my own children. The doctors said that my first wife might not be able to have children. I accepted that and went on with life looking at other options. All of a sudden, boom, 2 kids. Now that was enough. My point is in relaxing and letting God. But that doesn't mean to give up hope. You are still young enough to have children, and I think you'd be great with them. Let's all pray with confidence that you can accept what you can't control, that you can relax and let God, and take good care of all the blessings that you do have.
Maybe you will be surprised with a small blessing that you aren't expecting.