They say admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. While I am not an alcoholic (seriously...the two glasses of margarita last night with supper gave me a migraine this morning!), I do have a problem. Often when someone is speaking I tend to cut in on the conversation, always wanting to put my two cents worth. Sometimes I think that part of it is because I am afraid of being invisible or even treated like I don't know anything about what they are talking about. I know that sometimes too its because I have wanted to feel like a part of the group. Regardless, I know that what I do gets annoying. So today, I will be taking on the task of respect.
Respect can be accomplished in many ways, one being allowing the people involved in your life know they are respected verbally. Other ways involve allowing them time and stepping back to allow them to "shine." Even my nonverbal communication in a conversation gets to the point that people know that I want to jump in on the conversation. How many times in your life have people told you that you do the same thing. It's like having a running marquee across your forehead saying, "OH OH OH....I have something to say!!!!" It becomes distracting and affects the joy or the emotion the other person is having. It becomes all about me and less about me giving them the respect they need. Why do I feel I always have to have the last word on everything or every conversation? Why do I try to fix people when they are talking about a problem. Today, I am going to step back. I am going to work on how I communicate with others and respect them by allowing them full time in what they have to say or do.
Yes, this blog will be short today. (Some of you might be saying...YEAH!!!!). They say it takes a village to raise a child. In rebuilding myself, I realize that I am much like a child growing and maturing all over again. So..today I am seeking help from the village. Out of respect for all of you reading this, I'd like to hear from you about your opinion of this task. How can I work on this better? How can I communicate with others and show my respect without "stomping on their parade" so-to-speak? How have you had to do this in your own life?
Gee, I was wondering when you would work on this. No, I mean, when we all will work on this.
ReplyDeleteRespect.
You do have the right idea for a beginning, but respect is even more than just allowing the other person to speak. It even refers to after that person is finished speaking, to keep from correcting any errors that was said, or other trivial facts. As long as no one is hurt or could cause hurt, there is no need to make corrections on what the other person has said. So when you can just button your lip, and let the small stuff go, that would be the next step for respect. Actually, that's the step I am working on now. I admit that it is tough.
I use to be such a good listener. I lost that some where along the line. I am going to try and work on that also. Thanks for pointing that out. I know it was on my mind often and thoughts of how it makes people feel was always there but not enough to stop interupting or comparing the sharing to me/mine attitude.
ReplyDeleteI have to say, Melissa, if you should interrupt me, I know that you are saying something important and pertinent. In other words, I don't mind being interrupted by you. You seem to always have such great insight. I think that this blog shows your insight. I'd like to see more people get involved the discussion.
ReplyDelete