Okay....this is going to be a challenging task today. The time would eventually come and ladies, we all knew it. It's time that I break the ever silent but ever strong Women's Code of Communication. I am going to do something that it not only takes me a very very very (that's alot of "very's" people!) long time to do. (Men...don't call up my husband and tell him I am doing this or else I may have to live with his happy dance for the next week....) Today I will....(wait for it)....admit...that I am...(okay...I can do this...) wrong.
Oh my! Okay...I said it. I'm sorry ladies...I had to do it! Yes...today I will be admitting that I am not always right. Any woman can tell you that we know when we are right and even when we are wrong we try to be right. So why is this such a difficult task? Why do I long to hear other people acknowledge when I am right? Why do I nag at my husband at times until he admits that I am right? It's not solely based on the fact that I am a woman. Rather, it involves my own view of myself and my confidence or lack thereof at times.
As a child I often felt inferior to others. I would watch others claim to know the truth only to find out that they didn't know what they were talking about. These people were put on pedestals and revered. When I'd find out they were wrong and that I could prove it, I felt angered and upset that people would still respect the opinions of these people who were wrong. I set out to prove that I was right. And so it started. Then, after a while I just got tired of people thinking I was wrong and I'd fight back to prove I was right. And then came the point where I knew a situation would turn out a certain way and when I would warn someone about it, they'd think I was nuts, go about doing what they were doing, only to find out that I was right in the end. But, they would still never admit that I was right.
Do I like to hear people tell me that I was right? Heck yeah! It strokes my ego a bit....it raises my confidence in myself. As you all know for past posts, my confidence is one thing I never had an abundance of. Most of all, I always felt I needed to push my point until people saw that I was right so that I'd fit in. If I didn't express my "rightness" how would I ever even have conversations with people. I would retreat into the quiet, contemplative person that I really am.
It's not that I need to hear that I am right all the time...just once in awhile is nice. I don't need to be the superior one and be right all the time....I just need someone to acknowledge that I am right once and awhile and help me to feel more like the 37 year old woman that I really am rather than the 6 yr child that I so often feel like.
Today I plan on sitting back and listening to people today. I won't pop up and give my opinion, regardless on whether I feel I am right or not, unless asked. I need to work on sitting back and thinking about the situation and not let it dominate my thoughts. I need to pick my battles. Maybe I will gain more respect from others if I do that today. It's not that my opinion doesn't matter...because it does to me. Rather, I have to live my life not everyone else's. I need to allow people to make their mistakes so they can learn from them and not try to shelter them. Will I stop standing up for myself. Of course not! Rather, I will think about what matters most in life and go from there.
To say it is ok to tear your opionion apart and try and change your opionion is exhausting to say the least. I love to listen to others and take what is important to me and leave the rest behind. That is good conversation between two or more people. Am I always right. Heck no. Do I admit when I am wrong. Heck yes. People are different and have different views. I personally love that. I do have strong views in some areas and will defend my views but try not to change others for their views that may be different than mine. I could be missing a great deal with a closed mind.
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